“If you haven’t heard back within a fortnight from the …. of your email then assume that we will not be seeking the rest of your manuscript.”

Today it’s been a fortnight that I have not heard from this famous New Zealand publisher.

So here it is, my first rejection. For 15 days, I desperately hoped to receive an email from them. I was annoyed and disappointed every time a random notification on my phone popped up. Ads, phone bill, Mum, bank statement, Dad, more ads. Nothing came up to get me closer to my dream.

It reminds me of the time when I was a shy teenager, madly in love with a boy who did not care and waiting for a reply that never came.

It made me feel bad during these 15 days. Thinking that my story is not of interest for a publisher is quite depressing. Any writers would feel the same way.

This first rejection is the answer to my first submission. At least now I have an answer. And somehow it makes sense. The first submission cannot be the best, it’s new, it’s scary. There’s a flavour of amateurism that can be felt miles away. It’s like your first time with someone or your first time at getting your driver license. The first time, you fail.

A few days after submitting my script, I remember saying to my boyfriend: “Babe, I think I’ve screwed up my first submission.” He asked why and I said: “I did not really follow the guidelines. I was too excited and did not think of the basic and simple things to include in my submission.”

So deep inside I knew. I just fooled myself with hope, hoping that it would work, even if it was not perfect.

Every time you’re rejected by a publisher, don’t blame them, blame yourself for not doing the right thing and do better for the next time.