I have been nicknamed “Little Banana” by my Aussie family that I met during my journey. I like it because first, I am little and second if I have to be a fruit I certainly would be a banana. Yellow skin from the outside but white flesh inside. Best definition of myself, and all asian people that were born and raised in France or westerners countries. Everything in me is French, except my reflection in the mirror. I belong to this migrant’s children generation which has been nurtured by the French culture and lifestyle. So deeply immersed that sometimes I forget what I look like when people see me. Asian.

Drawing of an asian banana

Since I left France (almost 3 years now) I had many ventures, struggles and fights. I did have amazing times of course but let’s talk about the reality of leaving everything behind, moving alone across the world and start a new life.

It’s hard, it’s painful and you cry a lot.  After achieving my big dreams of traveling around, running crazy, wild and free in the far flung lands of Australia, I did need to think a bit more in a long run. Like my dad used to say every time I had him on the phone when I could find some signal, “you’re not 20 anymore, you can’t live from farm to farm all your life. It’s time to settle down and make money”. Could feel the pressure on even on the other side of the world.

Dessin d’un tel qui hurle

But you always need a bit of pressure to push yourself to move on. It’s hard to admit it but parental pressure is actually a good thing, even if we don’t want to accept it, our parents are (most the time) right, it is just their way to show it that bothers/pisses us off.

I am sure you’ve been asking yourself these questions many times, in a different scale of desperation though : “What I want to do with my life?”, “Am I really happy?!”, “Goood what I am going to becooooome?!!” (Big cries, runny nose, dramatic tone for this one).

Dessin des emotions

These existential questions will chase you wherever you go, I found out that all I needed was to find my inner peace, no matter where I will be landing. But what does it mean? Simply put, it means you have to do things that make you happy.

I remember having tough times to know what I wanted to do a year ago. I was looking after 4 kids in a gorgeous farm in the outskirts of Sydney.  Being an Au Pair was an incredible experience, I really got myself out of my comfort zone and I figured this out: if you can work 6 years in a big corporate like Deloitte in Paris and look after 4 hyperactive kids in a remote 20 acres Australian farm, it means you can pretty much accomplish anything in life.